🗂️Menagerie Crime Files — Incident Report #1007

 

Case File: The Arrest of Miles Davis-Isaacs

Menagerie Crime Files — Incident Report #007

There comes a moment in every Matriarch’s life when she must look a beloved animal squarely in the face and say, “Enough.” For me, that moment arrived at 14:32 on a perfectly ordinary afternoon, when Miles — Beagle–Pointer, chaos engine, raccoon‑morality specialist — committed one crime too many.

The Roast Theft. The Laundry Massacre. The Amazon Meat Heist. The Silent Extraction Route.

Each incident had been logged, sketched, analysed, and filed. But the escalation was undeniable. The Menagerie Crime Unit could no longer ignore the pattern.

So I did what any responsible guardian of domestic order would do.

I had him arrested.

Miles did not resist. In fact, he walked into custody with the calm resignation of a dog who knows he has absolutely earned whatever is coming next. He stood against the height chart, ears slightly drooped, expression neutral — not remorseful, not proud, simply… accepting.

Then came the paw‑printing.

He placed his paw on the ink pad with the solemn dignity of a seasoned criminal. One firm press. One perfect print. Evidence secured.

Finally, the official photograph.

Miles faced the camera with that classic Beagle–Pointer look: “I did it. I’d do it again. And I’m thinking about doing it right now.”

The shutter clicked. The mugshot was born. The Menagerie Crime Files gained their most iconic image to date.

And honestly? He looks fantastic. Criminal, yes — but photogenic.

Miles has now been formally added to the Menagerie Crime Registry, where his offences will be catalogued for future generations. His mugshot is available for public viewing, Pinterest pinning, and general admiration.

Justice has been served. Order has been restored. And Miles… is already planning his next heist.

***

### 🕵️‍♂️ NEED MORE SUSPENSE IN YOUR LIFE?

If you think the high-stakes tactical manoeuvring of a Beagle stealing a Sunday roast is thrilling, you should see what happens in my books. 

When I am not fighting a losing battle against the "Biscuit Bandit," I am a published author of gripping adult fiction and imaginative children's stories. If you want to escape into a completely different world (one where nobody is actively trying to eat your sandwich), visit The Directors Bookshelf right here on the blog to grab your next read!